I’ve been told that ego stands for “edging G-d out”.

It seems like G-d and my ego are at odds. When I am G-d-centric, my ego is smaller and I’m less offended by things that tend to get “under my skin”. Yet, when everything is about me, pushing G-d to the sidelines, my ego is inappropriately inflated. Our new JLI course “Nourishing Relationships” started this week, and the topic was “The Art of Empathy”. It turns out that it’s impossible to be empathetic when we are full of ourselves. If we allow our primal, animalistic, selfish instincts to control our life, there is no room for others, but if we have a more G-d-centered experience, there is room for our friends and family, as we don’t take up all the space.

In this week’s Torah portion, Vayera, we learn about Abraham’s empathy. We know that he was kind, hospitable, and overloaded on generosity, but empathy is so much more. Abraham was able to place himself in the space of those who were struggling, feeling their pain, holding their hand, and eventually standing up for them, if necessary. Whether it was Hagar and Ishmael’s plight with Sarah, the people of Sodom and Gomorrah who were on the precipice of annihilation, or his nephew Lot being held captive amid the regional war between the four and five kings, Abraham not only sought solutions and showed solidarity, but he also empathized with those in tough situations, feeling with them in their toughest moments.  

When I was growing up empathy wasn’t a thing. We expressed immense amounts of solution-oriented kindness, which is great, but that isn’t empathy. I never understood what Chavie meant when she said, “I am not looking for solutions; I just want to talk about it”. Yet, the older I get, the more I learn, the deeper I dig into the reservoirs of Torah, the more I find empathy. Our loved ones, our friends, want to know that we can feel with them, even the unpleasant feelings, it validates them and gives them immense measures of support. Two men that were at the class this week told me that they practiced empathy at home and their wives were positively floored. We all appreciate empathy when we are the recipients, now we just need to learn how to share it with others.‍

It’s not about giving to them; it’s about being with them!

‍May G-d guard our brethren in Israel and the world over from harm and send us Mashiach speedily. May G-d protect the armed forces of Israel and the United States wherever they may be!

We heard about the need, and we rallied.

The children’s room at CPS in Bozeman, where kids are taken when things at home are unbearable, was in shambles. Chavie and I undertook the project to have it totally refurbished. Thanks to an incredible group of donors, the support of Another Peters Painting, the kindness of Ashley Furniture in Bozeman, we got it done. A room that was unwelcoming, cold, blah and broken, is now warm, meaningful, fresh and full of toys, dolls, and cozy furniture. Chavie invested her heart and soul, like it was for our own children, making it a special place for the kids who need extra love.

In this week’s Torah portion, Lech Lecha, we read about Avram’s name being changed to Avraham. The meaning of his new name was to expand his reach to the multitudes of nations. So, while Abraham and Sarah were the founders of Judaism, G-d wanted them to expand their horizons to include inspiring the entire world. This holy couple was tasked to not only care for their insular G-d fearing friends who accepted their teachings, but to share their belief in One G-d, monotheism, with all those who cross paths with them, even temporarily. It’s a mindset shift that teaches us that to be a Jew is to be a salesman offering an amazing product to all those that we encounter.  

We mustn’t ever neglect our own while seeking to save the world but illuminating the gentile world around us is a blessing we shouldn’t withhold. I remember my maternal Bubbe Esther always giving out dollar bills to the homeless and hungry on the #3 and #6 trains in the New York Subway on the way to work. The recipients were mostly black and Puerto Rican, and I remember asking her why she was helping these people while so many of their own, sitting right next to us, were ignoring them. My Bubbe said “We have to do what’s right, and it doesn’t matter what others do or don’t do”. It remained etched in my mind and heart. We don’t pass off the “giving” to someone else or to the government, we roll up our sleeves and get it done.

Get out of the Jewish ghetto; transform the world!

May G-d guard our brethren in Israel and the world over from harm and send us Mashiach speedily. May G-d protect the armed forces of Israel and the United States wherever they may be!